Adventure Rocket Ship

Yes, if I remember.

I also have a mostly-working washing machine to dismember.

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You could always load the loose bits into the rotating bit and make a terrible noise.

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What, more of a Terrible Noise than it already makes?

I was idly considering something like the titanium-polisher...

... It's the Crockery Disintegrator, isn't it?

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Yes, much more noise. Especially once we cut great holes in all the outer panels. And hotwire the door interlock so we can run it open.

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Ha!

This would seem to be a post-industrobarbie Plan.

(We are so INDUSTRAIL(tm) that musical instruments are considered bourgeios affectations and the symptoms of a sick and degenerate society.)

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Guitars - they're just power tools for your hair.

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we could send you for a MRI scan.

I must not skim read. I was thinking, "An MRI scan? For a fucking FRIDGE? Jesus this is technology gone mad."

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Plus, it won't work. MRI hates iron.

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I imagine you'd have to be reasonably sure to remove the fridge magnets too. [Damn, I used to know how MRI worked long ago.]

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Like this:
http://www.ee.duke.edu/~jshorey/MRIHomepage/work.html

Lots of big magnetic fields & radio pulses.

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Yes, but where did you get the fridge bit from?

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He's been talking to my mum:

Cooker == 'hot fridge'
Washer == 'clothes fridge'

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So what does she call the microwave then? Or isn't she allowed one for safety reasons?

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I'm not sure if the Aged P's have a microwave.

I'm the chap who shouldn't be allowed one, since the last two I owned both malfunctioned in Curious Circumstances and had scaffolding driven through their still-beating klystrons so as to make them Very Sorry.

Admittedly the first was an ancient chip-shop one that I bought off a bloke for a fiver. One of the fellows I was sharing with said "If you stand next to that when it's working, your eyes feel funny..." and it was all over for the poor beast shortly after that.

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That's made me laugh in a really nervous kind of way. Do you eat out a lot?

All hail

hirez, the Microwave Killer.

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Not really, I just don't have the reverent attitude to white goods that other people seem to have.

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Oh that's good! You have a very definite "street style" in your approach to decor, don't you?

Reverence of white goods - really? They are usually a right pita and hide rotting food on you for days and days.

Did your fridge stay on the street long?

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Really? I'd not thought about it like that before.

I guess this would have been circa 1995, and the estimable

jarkman was throwing out that fridge-freezer at about the same sort of time that one of the dole-scum halfwits I was sharing a house with (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hirez/1843.html) and (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hirez/2551.html) pulled the door off the one we already had in a drunken rage. Or stupor.

One of the other problems at that place was the dole-scum thieving other people's beer, so we pop-riveted a hasp to each door. At that point it seemed entirely obvious to attack the thing with spray paints in a style influenced by Soviet constructivist art and Tank Girl.

It provided sterling service for a couple of years, until I'd moved out and one of the other inmate's g/f objected to it on the grounds that "well, painting a fridge is a bit wrong, innit? They should be nice. And white."

(Only later did I find out about biscuit-bloke making a mint from daubing fridges and cookers in NY...)

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Wow - it is scary on what level of misunderstanding I was working last night. Still my fridge is very NEAR my washing machine.

So what about people like

childeric who want to keep their clothes in the fridge? Then both fridges would be the clothes fridge.

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[FX: Abases self]

The Great Storage Rationaliser! He has come! All hail the Master Filer and Grand Architect of the Finding!

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