It's not a prayer hat, it's an ironic trilby.

[hirez]

(Thus I was accused of being the post-modern Sid James.)

Today the washing machine had a prolapse and deposited concrete and broken-off bolts on the scullery floor.

Earlier the Consulting Ornithologist had twisted and prodded at my ankle and gone "The damage we could see is from some older injury (that'll be jumping off bridges pissed then), so we've got no real idea what's up. I could open it up and have a poke around or we could send you for a MRI scan."

I now have two Moleskine notebooks. Since I seem to have rediscovered a facility for scribbling copious and random notes in a hand that owes about as much to curious fo(u)nt design as it does to being a hacker and just not bothering to write longhand, I shall fill them both with poorly-annotated drawings and apparently unconnected notes and then secrete them somewhere to be discovered by a future generation. Who will probably then lock up any remote descendants as a safety precaution.

Comments

[glitchdrei.livejournal.com]

Today the washing machine had a prolapse and deposited concrete and broken-off bolts on the scullery floor.

Any chance of some photographic evidence? ;)

[steer.livejournal.com]

we could send you for a MRI scan.

I must not skim read. I was thinking, "An MRI scan? For a fucking FRIDGE? Jesus this is technology gone mad."

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

Plus, it won't work. MRI hates iron.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Yes, if I remember.

I also have a mostly-working washing machine to dismember.

[margotmetroland.livejournal.com]

Yes, but where did you get the fridge bit from?

[hirez.livejournal.com]

He's been talking to my mum:

Cooker == 'hot fridge'
Washer == 'clothes fridge'

[margotmetroland.livejournal.com]

So what does she call the microwave then? Or isn't she allowed one for safety reasons?

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

You could always load the loose bits into the rotating bit and make a terrible noise.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

What, more of a Terrible Noise than it already makes?

I was idly considering something like the titanium-polisher...

... It's the Crockery Disintegrator, isn't it?

[hirez.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if the Aged P's have a microwave.

I'm the chap who shouldn't be allowed one, since the last two I owned both malfunctioned in Curious Circumstances and had scaffolding driven through their still-beating klystrons so as to make them Very Sorry.

Admittedly the first was an ancient chip-shop one that I bought off a bloke for a fiver. One of the fellows I was sharing with said "If you stand next to that when it's working, your eyes feel funny..." and it was all over for the poor beast shortly after that.

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

Yes, much more noise. Especially once we cut great holes in all the outer panels. And hotwire the door interlock so we can run it open.

[steer.livejournal.com]

I imagine you'd have to be reasonably sure to remove the fridge magnets too. [Damn, I used to know how MRI worked long ago.]

[steer.livejournal.com]

Wow - it is scary on what level of misunderstanding I was working last night. Still my fridge is very NEAR my washing machine.

So what about people like childeric who want to keep their clothes in the fridge? Then both fridges would be the clothes fridge.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Ha!

This would seem to be a post-industrobarbie Plan.

(We are so INDUSTRAIL(tm) that musical instruments are considered bourgeios affectations and the symptoms of a sick and degenerate society.)

[hirez.livejournal.com]

[FX: Abases self]

The Great Storage Rationaliser! He has come! All hail the Master Filer and Grand Architect of the Finding!

[steer.livejournal.com]

All along we thought it was a messiah complex -- but there was a simpler explanation.

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

Guitars - they're just power tools for your hair.

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

Like this:
http://www.ee.duke.edu/~jshorey/MRIHomepage/work.html

Lots of big magnetic fields & radio pulses.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

[margotmetroland.livejournal.com]

That's made me laugh in a really nervous kind of way. Do you eat out a lot?

All hail hirez, the Microwave Killer.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Not really, I just don't have the reverent attitude to white goods that other people seem to have.

[margotmetroland.livejournal.com]

Oh that's good! You have a very definite "street style" in your approach to decor, don't you?

Reverence of white goods - really? They are usually a right pita and hide rotting food on you for days and days.

Did your fridge stay on the street long?

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Really? I'd not thought about it like that before.

I guess this would have been circa 1995, and the estimable jarkman was throwing out that fridge-freezer at about the same sort of time that one of the dole-scum halfwits I was sharing a house with (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hirez/1843.html) and (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hirez/2551.html) pulled the door off the one we already had in a drunken rage. Or stupor.

One of the other problems at that place was the dole-scum thieving other people's beer, so we pop-riveted a hasp to each door. At that point it seemed entirely obvious to attack the thing with spray paints in a style influenced by Soviet constructivist art and Tank Girl.

It provided sterling service for a couple of years, until I'd moved out and one of the other inmate's g/f objected to it on the grounds that "well, painting a fridge is a bit wrong, innit? They should be nice. And white."

(Only later did I find out about biscuit-bloke making a mint from daubing fridges and cookers in NY...)