Feckwittering (M5/M4 edition)
Nov. 2nd, 2013 07:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hirezToday I ignored a mild hangover and steamed to Cheltenham to do 'manly things', look at the countryside and visit people with an aim to blag mugs of tea.
All of these things were surprisingly successful, in spite of the efforts of two different feckwits trying to bend my car and/or kill me.
The M5 junction between Cheltenham & Gloucester (Left for doomed industry and concrete supplies for the ruination of an otherwise harmless town centre, right for the delivery of multiple expensive computers, 'phone exchange exploitation kit, high end fibre optic gear and sundry data-warehousing requisites) is one of those Ballardian multi-layer things with a no-mans-land roundabout between the M5 in the cutting and the A40 flying over the top. The sight-lines are designed to be poor so you have to mostly stop when transitioning from slip-road to roundabout to slip-road.
The bollix in the people-carrier pulling off the southbound M5 seemed to think that he was in some urban environment where putting yr nose into the traffic would make the oncoming car(s) pull to a halt to allow you out.
This does not work on a motorway junction.
A few years ago, someone tried this on the M4/M32 junction, which is an even worse idea because it's all motorway rather than some nod-wink reclassified thing. To be fair, he had the wit to look utterly terrified as a stream of artics and speeding bastards aimed for his wheelarch.
The bollix on the M5 didn't even seem to have the brains to do that. Instead he pulled out further as I was slowing down and conducting a rapid lifesaver over my right shoulder to make damn sure the rest of the road was empty before steaming across his bow with a cheerful two-fingered wave.
Honestly. In a different life, I'd have t-boned the fucker to prove a point, but I was on my way to visit mum and that would not have been seen as a valid excuse.
On the way back, the bit of M4 between the M5 junction and the M32 was busying up nicely with drivers who'd not worked out if they were supposed to be doing 50 or 70. (The answer being 'yes')
A different bollix decided that an appropriate lane-change manoeuvre would be to start indicating and moving right at about the same sort of time then check that there wasn't a car in the way. Perhaps a blue SAAB 9000CSE driven by someone clairvoyant enough to realise exactly what was going on.
For a laugh, I have the Highway Code open in another window, and a sufficiently Wikipeejah-editor reading of section 163 - You should [ ... ] use your mirrors, signal when it is safe to do so, take a quick sideways glance if necessary into the blind spot area and then start to move out - would seem to show that the letter of the law was being followed. However, immediately before that in the cunningly-titled section 162, we find this - Before overtaking you should make sure [ ... ] road users are not beginning to overtake you.
In short - go and get fucked you horrible, horrible bastards. It is true that one could claim that there's a missing exception in (163) along the lines of 'If there is a car approaching in the lane to your right, abort your current course of action.' On the other hand, the somewhat kinetic teaching moment made available is not always survivable by all those involved...
All of these things were surprisingly successful, in spite of the efforts of two different feckwits trying to bend my car and/or kill me.
The M5 junction between Cheltenham & Gloucester (Left for doomed industry and concrete supplies for the ruination of an otherwise harmless town centre, right for the delivery of multiple expensive computers, 'phone exchange exploitation kit, high end fibre optic gear and sundry data-warehousing requisites) is one of those Ballardian multi-layer things with a no-mans-land roundabout between the M5 in the cutting and the A40 flying over the top. The sight-lines are designed to be poor so you have to mostly stop when transitioning from slip-road to roundabout to slip-road.
The bollix in the people-carrier pulling off the southbound M5 seemed to think that he was in some urban environment where putting yr nose into the traffic would make the oncoming car(s) pull to a halt to allow you out.
This does not work on a motorway junction.
A few years ago, someone tried this on the M4/M32 junction, which is an even worse idea because it's all motorway rather than some nod-wink reclassified thing. To be fair, he had the wit to look utterly terrified as a stream of artics and speeding bastards aimed for his wheelarch.
The bollix on the M5 didn't even seem to have the brains to do that. Instead he pulled out further as I was slowing down and conducting a rapid lifesaver over my right shoulder to make damn sure the rest of the road was empty before steaming across his bow with a cheerful two-fingered wave.
Honestly. In a different life, I'd have t-boned the fucker to prove a point, but I was on my way to visit mum and that would not have been seen as a valid excuse.
On the way back, the bit of M4 between the M5 junction and the M32 was busying up nicely with drivers who'd not worked out if they were supposed to be doing 50 or 70. (The answer being 'yes')
A different bollix decided that an appropriate lane-change manoeuvre would be to start indicating and moving right at about the same sort of time then check that there wasn't a car in the way. Perhaps a blue SAAB 9000CSE driven by someone clairvoyant enough to realise exactly what was going on.
For a laugh, I have the Highway Code open in another window, and a sufficiently Wikipeejah-editor reading of section 163 - You should [ ... ] use your mirrors, signal when it is safe to do so, take a quick sideways glance if necessary into the blind spot area and then start to move out - would seem to show that the letter of the law was being followed. However, immediately before that in the cunningly-titled section 162, we find this - Before overtaking you should make sure [ ... ] road users are not beginning to overtake you.
In short - go and get fucked you horrible, horrible bastards. It is true that one could claim that there's a missing exception in (163) along the lines of 'If there is a car approaching in the lane to your right, abort your current course of action.' On the other hand, the somewhat kinetic teaching moment made available is not always survivable by all those involved...
