hirez: More graf. Same place as the other one. (Happy cycling)
[personal profile] hirez
Of late, the telly has been filled with sportspeople banging on about emotions.

It's very odd.

It actually started with the voice-over for the Tour of Poland advert - 'Come and feel the greatest sporting emotions' went someone who sounds an awful lot like David Morrissey. More or less like someone inviting into his carpet shop to fondle the merchandise. Since it's an advert and on Eurosport I don't have to pay much attention because it just goes in the box marked 'Chris Tarrant used to get paid for mocking this sort of thing before there was an internet, then it fell to Jasper Carrott and now some poor sod of a Z-lister gets to sit in front of a pile of Youtube at back-from-the-pub AM. Which is a bit bloody grim when you think about it because it kind of implies that the modern viewer can't manage taking the piss out of things without someone from the telly to help. Clearly the rot set in with MST3K, but they were Americans and so one expected that sort of passive spectatoring'

It is a medium-sized box, but the writing is very small.

In it go 'Salice - made from sport' (other people make their products from a variety of plastics), 'We are Turkish Airlines' (Music begins to resemble a New Order B-Side) and some madwoman steaming about a tennis court in impractical heels.

However, the weirdness has leaked into the post-stage interviews and talking heads - 'A lot of emotion there.' 'Were you feeling any emotions?' ' Many emotions.'

Which fecking emotions, you lycra-clad pillocks? There are fecking loads of them! And they're different!

Date: 2012-07-24 08:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valkyriekaren.livejournal.com
I-AM-FEELING-AN-EMOTION

I-AM-NOT-A-SPORT-PLAYING-AUTOMATON

IDENTIFY-WITH-ME

IDENTIFY

IDENTIFY

Date: 2012-07-24 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hirez.livejournal.com
I can now see a Dalek cycling team. As long as the sponsorship bond from SpaceCorp Davros is good, and the forms are filled in, the UCI would just rubber-stamp it.

Christian Prudhomme wouldn't have them in any ASO-organised events, but the'd probably get wildcard invitiations for the Tours of Turkey and Oman.

They'd be top climbers, utterly useless at time-trials and probably booted out quick-smart for a doping regimen that would make the likes of Ricardo Ricco explode with envy.

Date: 2012-07-24 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valkyriekaren.livejournal.com
I think exterminating the opposition is instant disqualification.

Cybermen, on the other hand, could never win gold medals.

Date: 2012-07-24 09:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-tom.livejournal.com
Yes, but at least the naked greased-up Filippo Pozzato Sidi advert's been expunged from the record, and we no longer have to tolerate Tyler Farrar's sunglasses steaming up when he's perving over the Copenhagenised hotties.

Date: 2012-07-24 09:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-tom.livejournal.com
Emotionally-speaking, those made me feel bad, Jim.

Date: 2012-07-24 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hirez.livejournal.com
It's the voice-overs that get me:

SIDI. CYCLING SHOOES.

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