Dear 'The kids' (i)

[hirez]

What is this fashion for ending a paragraph with the phrase 'End of.' ? It makes you sound like a stroppy wanker.

See also 'don't talk to me about...' and 'I don't want to hear about...' Honestly, if you wanted a set of verbal tics that would indicate a conversation with someone would involve trying not to yawn while they went on and on and on about things they find irksome, those would be an excellent start.

I'd like an Android version of that JobsPhone conversation-measure, please.

Comments

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

It's just plain rude. Nuff said.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

And now the BBC are at it: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13762313

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Just poorly written. Sentence fragments. What's with that?

[quercus.livejournal.com]

The BBC, and its web presence in particular, has become an example of how not to use English.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

David Cameron does it; that's a good reason why not to. Along with all the others.

It's up there with "I'm not a -ist, but…" or "No offence, but…" as a useful indicator that the rest of the sentence contains some particularly ill thought-out opinions that the orator wishes to inflict rather than refine. If only those people had a visual tell so that they could be avoided before conversation begins. Apart from the blue rosette, that is.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Dear me, yes. Oh, and, 'I'm not being funny or anything, but...'

When voice-recognition gets really good, one will be able to have one's SpeechTool on the lookout for such phrases and have it either emit a ringtone so you can escape under cover of a spurious conversaton, or just go 'BOLLIX!' at the top of its tiny electronic lungs.

"I do apologise, my telephone appears to have developed Tourette's..."

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

Yes. A Babelfish with a built-in John Peel. Only translates/transmits stuff that's not balls. A small price to play for your friends' voices occasionally coming through at the wrong speed.

[nmg.livejournal.com]

I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

I had originally envisaged it working out-of-band, in that one's phone interrupts face-to-face conversations, but that idea's got potential, too.

And now, Extreme Noise Terror in session, with 'False profit'. Clever title there, lads.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

FX: *bringbring*
"Excuse me a second"
FX: *bip*
"Hello? Yes. Ah. I see. Yes, I'll tell him. Bye."
FX: *bip*
"Apaprently, you're a crashing bore and I need go and talk to someone that's less likely to make me want to push my face into a combine harvester. Cheerio!"

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded of Jack Dee's bit about babies, when they get that expression on their faces that says, "I would rather shit in my own pants than talk to you."

[cybermule.livejournal.com]

It rarely is funny. It's usually flagrantly unveiled offensive toss.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

David Cameron is the Tories' Mick Hucknall. Desperate for acceptance, thoroughly despised, and not a clue why.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

[hirez.livejournal.com]

[FX: Hysterics]

Beat me to it, you bounder.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

Whenever anyone mentions Mick Hucknall, the MTTPP approaches 0.




Talk about putting your faith in Google Images SafeSearch, though.

[reddragdiva]

*applause*

[sarah-mum.livejournal.com]

It's them expressin' themselves like, y'know, init? Nuff said.

Like what, exactly?
No I don't know, please do enlighten me!
No, I don't think is actually.

Oh, and my favourite teeth-grinder from any form of customer service person "obviously". No, it's not obvious, if it were I wouldn't have had to ask, would I?

[girfan.livejournal.com]

My least favourite is "at the end of the day..."

[(Anonymous)]

There's a theory that goes reason only evolved as a fairly effective tactic in winning debates.

While using 'End of' simply smacks of a desperate stab at 'I am the alpha of this group, why can't you just STFU and just obey me'.