Moody youths propping up fire escapes[1] / Hey hey we're not the monkees.

[hirez]

In common with many of my peers, I was the victim of the local paper's photographer when in a band as a teenager. (We were mostly in bands as teenagers, right?)

The thing that you have to do, because either the readers, the photographer or the photographers assumption of the readers is/are significantly thicker than planks, is stand in a row against a thing and clutch your instrument (ooer) so that the nice people know that it's a picture of a beat combo (no popular here) rather than a surly mob up before the beak for pinching copper's helmets (ooer^2).

Non-name snapper's inspiration does not appear to have moved on in the last quarter-century. Other than in sheer quantity.

Mostly right: http://www.jwz.org/blog/2011/05/nightclub-photography-youre-doing-it-wrong/ most especially the thirteenth item.


[1] Peel, obviously.

Comments

[smogo.livejournal.com]

Because lucy_pointycat and I were in an (ahem) "goth" band, when the local paper came to photograph us, he asked me to make a claw gesture with my hand, as if I were a Dracula.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Photographers must get used to being regularly told to piss off.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

I was such a sad bastard I didn't pretend to be in a band, I didn't even pretend to be a drummer — I pretended to be a sound engineer (I owned ears and a soldering iron, it seemed to be all that was needed back then).

After last weekend's last-minute clusterfuck, I also now own my own mixer and PA. You know that dream where you wake up on stage with no trousers, no PA, and the audience is already filing in? Well never again...

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Engineer? Ears? That's a bit too radical for some, I think.

Back in the old days, I was at the Axiom to watch a mate's band (Fish-boy & Yellowhammer). I wandered into the room at the back with a pint to discover the band and some callow oik (I guess the 'promoter') in mid-argument. Callow oik beetled off and returned some time later with what appeared to be a set of valves nailed to a plank. The somewhat H.M. Bateman image of the band staring at said plank in slack-jawed horror has remained with me ever since.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

If you find any more PAs bearing a passing resemblance to valves nailed to a plank, please let me know - I'll have one just for the looks.

Mind you, I'm sure I've told you the "How to make a dummy load for a switched mode PSU when it's midnight on Sunday in the middle of a Fen and all you have is an old valve TV" story.

[zotz]

#3 more is or less Robert Capa's "If your pictures aren't good enough, you're not close enough." Wise words, unless you're actually actually in his line of work.

[nemesis-to-go.livejournal.com]

Lose the giant watermark.

Yes. This is one thing that annoys the arse off me - seeing a bunch of below-average gig pix slapped up on the web with some sort of snazzy logo or credit on them, like the photographer is someone special and the photos themselves are any good.

I particularly dislike photos that are credited in this kind of absurdly high-falutin' manner: Ronnie Knobber Photography - as if Ronnie Knobber is someone famous and skilful instead of just another punter with a camera and some big ideas. If a credit is essential, 'Photo by Ronnie Knobber' gets the job done just as well.

I'd add another 'Don't' to the list, too: Don't try to pass off photos that went wrong are some sort of kewl 'n' clever 'art' shots. If they came out blurred, too dark, or otherwise a bit crap, scrap 'em.

All the above is neatly illustrated by these photos (http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=10150412470660464&set=pu.108044730463&type=1&theater) (click 'next', top right, to go through the whole lot).

In fairness, that was a difficult gig to photograph. The lighting was either glaringly bright or non-existent. But here are my photos from that night (http://www.nemesis.to/nmmpix.htm). Not the greatest pix, maybe...but not bad, either. And no self-aggrandising credits or watermarks!

[hirez.livejournal.com]

[x] Unless you're some kind of hipster-wannabe Lomo pilot. (http://www.libeljournal.com/lomography/whitby06/images/Whitby31.jpg)

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

From the photos, I'd have thought you'd been at different events! Yours look like photos of a gig, theirs look like they're going for "arty" rather than "comprehensible".

[quercus.livejournal.com]

I thought half of the first batch were Blue Man Group.

...and no-one in Hoxton wants to be mistaken for that!

[nalsa.livejournal.com]

Honestly, gig togs these days have no idea how their fecking camera works, they just put it on fecking automatic and decide that their shots are just fecking brilliant, when they're piles o' shite that took no skill and no understanding of light. Learn what the fecking "M" setting does, guys. I can teach you, courses start at faahv 'unded sheets, roight?

Sorry, started channelling Cecil Beaton there.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

One thing I love about my Lumix TZ-10 is that it finally has an auto mode I still can't get the better of. I flip the flash on and off, but apart from that it's really hard to catch it out.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

You would post that link up when I've just chucked up (as it were) a bunch of scans of old snaps from B-Movie back in 2004! [grin]

I'm in agreement about most of those points though - especially the "using flash at gigs" one - if you're any way back, you'll get a lovely shot of the heads in front of you, and you'll piss off the performers, but achieve nothing else.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

Flash at gigs - Unless you're at the Invisible Circus in Brissel, where you get a personal haranguing from the ringmaster about how much ropewalkers just love being photographed with flash.

As a result of which, I had no pics of Chris the ropewalker (http://wyewaltz.org/wiki/index.php/Anaspitos) when I'd booked him and needed them to do promo with.