Visitation of the Electric Men

[hirez]

Way back in the mists of the North Cotswolds, I was sharing a rather nice house in the middle of nowhere. Since it was the middle of nowhere, the telephone line was completely knackered and you couldn't even get 2400bps out of it.

BT sent a version of Hale and Pace round. Only they were funny and had a trade to fall back on should ITV's Saturday night schedule take a turn for the significantly worse.

I begin to suspect that this is a function of working for an English once-nationalised utility on the difficult jobs, because the chaps that Western Power sent this morning to replace some electric bits were two thirds of a Bristolian Goon Show.

It turns out that when Bristol Corporation wired up the house in the twenties (presumably adjacent to the instantiation of the National Grid, for which information I must thank the estimable BBC4) they installed three-phase. Presumably on the off-chance that a home-owner might want to install a reasonably sized data-centre under the stairs or a light engineering works in the garage.

They also encased the cable-ends in pitch, which required belabouring with a hammer and chisel. Just as the chap with the hammer had one of the live feeds in his hand, who should arrive but the postman with a cheery walloping of the door.

"Gosh!" we all said. "That was a surprise. What with having a live cable in one hand and everything."

Still, I guess you don't get to still be working on live HT electricity in your fifties if you're excitable and/or careless.

They let me keep the cast boxes, too.

Comments

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Didn't Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson originally make it was script-writers because they were doing some building work at Fry & Laurie's flat?

Maybe the Bristolian Goons were terribly disappointed that you weren't an established TV comic who could give them a much-deserved legup.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

And yet another JHR adventure!

[hirez.livejournal.com]

It's all in the perception. Someone else would have written 'Men from the electric board turned up to replace something. Late for work.'

Me? I get twenties tech and three-phase.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

You've a way about you, sir. Always entertaining.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

One tries. Perhaps I should consider writing longer stories with a view to publication.

(Actually, I believe that the working-type double act is an English archetype.)

[quercus.livejournal.com]

More than I got. Mine is thirties tech (still got the bills), but only single phase - even in the bakery. Turns out I can't have three phase without paying $SHITLOAD, as the new cable (cheap) would be too heavy to hang off the pole without putting a strut alongside it (expensive) and there's no way to strut the pole without moving the road out of the way (having a laugh).

[venta.livejournal.com]

Well, that made me laugh out loud.

Not that I have any useful or interesting to add, mind.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Glad to be of service.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

I guess you don't get to still be working on live HT electricity in your fifties if you're excitable and/or careless.
Probably very true.

Presumably on the off-chance that a home-owner might want to install a reasonably sized data-centre under the stairs or a light engineering works in the garage.
Also handy should you decide to turn an outhouse into a live music venue.

[nemesis-to-go.livejournal.com]

NEDDIE SEAGOON: Now, Bluebottle, grasp this length of live-type electric cable and throw the main switch.

BULEBOTTLE: This isn't for deading me, is it, my Captain?

NEDDIE SEAGOON: Of course not! Just grasp it tightly and - no, don't pull the main switch yet -

FX: FOOTSTEPS RUNNING AWAY

NEDDIE SEAGOON (distant): Now you can pull it!

GRAMS: ENORMOUS ELECTRICAL EXPLOSION, HOUSE FALLS DOWN, ETC

BLUEBOTTLE: You rotten swine, you! You have deaded me!

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

Quick! Install machine tools in the hall!

[meltie.livejournal.com]

This. Also, what bit of BBC4?

[hirez.livejournal.com]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00vfc7b

(Which I'll have to thieve off the internets since it seems to have vanished from iplayer already.)

[meltie.livejournal.com]

Damnit. I always miss when BBC4 do interesting seasons.

[meltie.livejournal.com]

Hurrah, that's three hours gone. Ta!

The Secret Life of the Motorway tomorrow.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

An excellent programme. The history of North Sea oil is also fine stuff.