Oh shutup you tiresome bastard

[hirez]

The Swansea demons want more money and a fresh picture, presumably so they can create more work, have more databases and sell off more bloody registration plates to more silly buggers who've not worked out that a personalised plate does not read '5exi' but 'I have no life and I am a crap shag all I can talk about is executive breakfast bars and alloy option packs my partner left me for a plant psychologist shoot me now'.

However, cars would need to be much wider and the ANPR kit would be run by the Samaritans.

All of which led me to poke about on a ten-year-old HD partition and find this:





Those of you with long memories of the Sluts list will know the answer, but which one ended up on my about-to-expire driving licence?

(You know what's really odd? That old HD is still running, and has stuff on it from when I was mad enough not to leave the house for six months.)

Comments

[nemesis-to-go.livejournal.com]

I used to work with a bloke who owned a Chrysler Crossfire. His girlfriend had bought him a personalised number plate as a birthday gift. The plate read like this:

TB055A

Now, unless I've misinterpreted something really obvious, that (almost) says TOSSER, doesn't it?

The bloke did not seem to have a highly developed sense of irony, so whatever he thought that plate said, he must've meant it. I often thought of asking him if he knew he was driving around in a car that proclaimed him a tosser front and rear, but I never plucked up courage...

Now I think of it, one other bloke also had a personalised number plate. His name was Mike Green, and his number plate said:

M2KE G

I take it that M1KE G was out of his price range. I always thought this was the automotive equivalent of having a miss-spelled tattoo!

[sinibar.livejournal.com]

I think every Chrysler Crossfire I've seen has personalised plates, because simply driving a Crossfire doesn't announce "I'm a tosser" quite loudly enough for some people :)

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

I say #4. Am I right?

[hirez.livejournal.com]

I fear so. I used one of the other ones for, um, something else, but by the time the last one came back from the DVLA, monochrome and digitised, I looked like the bassist from some demonic thrash-metal combo.

[sallypointzero.livejournal.com]

Wow - Julian Opie drew the eyes in situ

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Yes. It was one of those computerised photobooth things. There were buttons for 'Stuckist', 'Jeff Koons', 'Julian Opie', 'Midwestern Outsider', 'Constructivist' and 'Purely representational art is shite'.

[sheepthief.livejournal.com]

Thunderbird 4.

ESDI! I had to modify a driver for the Atari ST for a couple of 140GB Micropolis shoe boxes, pinched from System-X. And it was written in Modula 2! Now there's a memory I'd buried.

[sheepthief.livejournal.com]

Oh, someone tried to up the price of a Manta I was buying on the grounds that the plate was worth something. YKV1S. Well, maybe, if I was Polish.

There was a nice XJ6 in Coventry with BAD 80Y, which I quite liked.

I'd quite like TVC 1S, if it exists.

[inulro.livejournal.com]

I'd fight you for it.

[ramtops.livejournal.com]

perlmonger and I have thus far avoided the dreaded pinup licence, but when we move it will have to be done. I loathe having my photograph taken.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

I wasn't exactly keen. Especially since it immortalised some particularly ill-advised UV hair extensions. As if there were UV hair extensions that could be considered a good idea.

[sarah-mum.livejournal.com]

Numberplate fun: my mother's initials are DMA, she got a personalised plate for her Tonka 4x4. It's an M reg, you can do your own punchline on that one. Sorted!
Most honest plate I've seen was simply "4 CM"

Oh, yes, the photo... number 3 the 'man of mystery' look

[eljaydaly.livejournal.com]

How ironic. I have to go get my license picture taken, and I'm all 'ohfuck' about it. Maybe I should see if they'll take one of yours.