Evening traffic report with Neasden Postlethwaite

[hirez]

Oh, FFS.

They've (Bristol council, rather than grey aliens or the Illuminati. If you want traffic-management by conspiracy-conjured Tulpa you have to go to Michigan, where the signage is run by the Trilateral Commission. I wish I still had the URL for the webpage that described the number and nature of the alien bases dotted across the US. One was in Fort Collins. Since I was a HPite at the time, that caused much merriment.) put traffic lights on a roundabout that's about halfway along my car-based commute.

There are also now handy spiral lines that demonstrate which lane you're expected to use. As one might imagine, if you want to turn right and head toward Bath, the right-most lane is the one to use. Indeed, if you could actually follow the spiral line around, you'd find yourself deposited in the left-hand lane of the dual carriageway.

However, since Bristol car-pilots are essentially fucking stupid, especially those notionally in charge of silver Honda shitboxes with blacked-out windows, what you'll actually find is some twatmonkey has middle-laned it and if you'd followed the nice white line yourself you'd be side-swiping the hopeless fucktard about halfway round.

It is especially galling when said twatmonkey gets a right old monk on and decides it wants to 'race' the scruffy-looking Saab it's just pushed into the right-hand lane.

Get a proper car you fucking loser.


Oh. Yeah. You know that 'My crumple-zone is the other car' argument for driving land-barges? Yeah. Right. Get a proper car you fucking loser.

Comments

[meltie.livejournal.com]

Aiiee. Liz has recently fallen in love with '59 Bel-Airs. I was considering bringing one back with us next year. Eek.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Somewhat sobering, isn't it?

[meltie.livejournal.com]

I knew they were bad, but I watched most of that clip with my hand over my mouth.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Quite.

I'd seen different footage a couple of days ago and meant to post about it then, but it's the stuff shot inside the thing as it folds up round the dummy...

[FX: Shuddering]

A while ago, I wrote about looking at the remains of crashed cars when they were towed onto the forecourt of Tubb's Garage in Andoversford in the early seventies. There were a lot of accidents on that stretch of carriageway before they put the lights in.

Indeed, the lights up at Shipton Heights are more or less a direct result of a particularly messy accident that involved some friends.

As a culture, we seem to have a collective blind-spot about that sort of thing.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Hun, you should try living on my road. The A205 merges 4 lanes of traffic into 3. Badly. It's like a horn concerto out there.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

In my current mood, I'd be out there with a hunting rifle, picking off the really loud ones.

People, right? Far too many of the buggers.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I'm not quite ready to go postal, but if you do, I'm totally up for being the person with the shaky hand taking the mobile phone footage for YouTube.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Damn. I was rather hoping you'd hand me the ammunition.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Isn't it?

I found it via a Hemmings autoblog, wherein some old car fondler went right off on one and vowed never to read such filth again.

[badnewswade.livejournal.com]

Freaking hell! I've always wondered which car would win out of a modern one and a 1950s land whale.

Good luck at the con tomorrow! I might even be there.