Not the comedy of manners you were looking for.

[hirez]

English people: stop trying to perform high-fives. You all look ridiculous when you either miss, or have to wait around with arm poised because your 'fiving partner' hasn't realised what's going on.

Comments

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

*high-five*

[hirez.livejournal.com]

*Rochambeau*

[quercus.livejournal.com]

Surely the truly British answer to a high-five is a headbutt to the poncing wigga whilst their guard is up?



Today I has been mostly dealing with Social Services. In the immortal words of Michael Murray, "Find me somebody to hit"

[liz-lowlife.livejournal.com]

Surely, most of us still shake hands politely?

[steer.livejournal.com]

A comedian I saw the other night suggested the following.

1) Move to high five someone.
2) As you high five them, shout some disgusting concept that you know they don't agree with -- good examples being racism and child murder.
3) Look totally disgusted with them for high fiving something so repugnant.

[delabane.livejournal.com]

Oh I agree and I hate how Americanised Britain’s are becoming! Despite being married to a wonderful American lady as your good self, I do hate how some of my fellow countrymen really do show how Americanised they are in front of my wife - she came here to escape America! Following examples:

Most people say "Hi" now at the start of most verbal/written communications these days.
Another one is referring to people as "Guy(s)".
Wow is now more common too.

British people doing it is wrong.

[sheepthief.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with "wow"? It's Scottish. If folk started using "gee" on the other hand...

[jendama.livejournal.com]

At least folks seem to think they have a reason to high-five . . .

[perlmonger.livejournal.com]

"How are you?"

"I'm good"

Good? good? WTF is that all about? Bloody colonials…

[hirez.livejournal.com]

I have to admit that I prefer that to "Mustn't grumble".

[perlmonger.livejournal.com]

"Middlin'"

[bluekieran.livejournal.com]

I've mostly moved on to fist bumps. I'm keeping the word "dude", though.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

The problem with bagging on the alleged Americanisation of British English is that some casual research usually results in the discovery that the usage one's railing against is actually Middle English or Scottish, and has been preserved by the Americans because they're like that.

There's also the apposite James Nichols line. (http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/466122.James_D_Nichols)

'Guys' for instance now appears to be a usefully non-gendered collective word, which is just a Good Thing.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

You must be some kind of terrorist-dude.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

"Fair to muddlin'"
"Not so bad"

Mithering bloody country full of reduced expectations and lowered horizons.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Good darts!

[inulro.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

[squiddity.livejournal.com]

Surely high-fives is some kind of predecessor to squash, played in the best public schools, with the addition of mild recreational narcotics?

I think I went to the wrong kind of school, our fives playing was distinctly low and resulted in many injuries. I presume the narcotic is to cushion the body against the hard landings on concrete when diving for a particularly low ball.