Missing a clever title for a change

A thing that's been wandering through my head for a few months was brought into focus by this gallery and this piece in the Manchester Guardian.

It seems that the greater part of the 'rebel alliance' (ho ho bleeding ho) are types not a million miles away from thee and I, which is really rather scary when you think about it. Not in the 'hahaha don't let those daft buggers play with a rocket launcher', which seems to be the level of FB banter. But 'Fuck me, middle-class spods of no particular political inclination have gone off to point AKs at the regular army and win. At the cost of watching their friends get killed.' And when it's finished, they're going to have to put the AK in the cupboard under the stairs and go back to developing PHP or driving a bus or being a duty solicitor.

Which, fuuu...

This one doesn't have a clever title either because the only ones that come to mind are unhelpful.

So, um, in the course of kicking some ideas around a muddy 2ndXI pitch before they put the goalposts back for the start of the new term, an idea that I'm not entirely sure how to express came to me...

'If I have this shiny-thing[1] then things will generally be better and I will be able to hold my head up in polite society and/or do better in my work and/or cop off with that person of appropriate gender-presentation.' (Or some other outcome along those lines.) :

[Poll #1774704]



[1] Where 'shiny-thing' expands to 'boots, article(s) of clothing, leather goods, elective surgical procedure, electronic device, personal conveyance, &c.' I'm not entirely sure if it encompasses 'toy frenzy', but that may (or may not) be a gendered assumption.