Memo from under the floorboards
Dec. 4th, 2006 10:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hirezI really dislike feeling stupid. It feels like a continual sliding window of not-opportunity that means I think things like "I'll get around to that when I can think a bit better and give it my full attention." Which means not much word-progress and I need to read someone's recent output but I'd like an hour where I could at least keep my eyes open long enough to give it good value.
On the other hand, 'The Jennifer Morgue' is really rather good. If somewhat messily confusing in places. Perhaps I should not read while half asleep.
The point of this is to write down the sentence 'You aren't going to be handed that window of opportunity, so you're going to have to carve it out of your life yourself.' so that I understand it properly.
Jayzus. It'll be to-do lists next.
Illustration of the depths of my thickness no.1: http://www.martin-woodhouse.co.uk/index.html
I felt sure I'd dumped this on LJ at some point so I wouldn't have to spend yet another half hour fiddling about with Gurgle and my clearly broken brain. You may guess exactly what has transpired between the time of posting the original and this update...
I swear.
On the other hand, the Python works, the migraine's gone, pater's new PC works (probably. Modulo an ancient install of Eudora and late-model XP security modes failing to get on entirely. It's remarkable how unconducive to getting things mended someone else's space can be.) and I don't look a complete cock in that tweed jacket.
And. And.
The Supersuckers, as pointed at by one of Richard or Aaron, are playing in Bristol next month. The 14th from (probably bad, given the rest of this post) memory. Might be a laugh, especially if they play the Jackalope thing.
On the other hand, 'The Jennifer Morgue' is really rather good. If somewhat messily confusing in places. Perhaps I should not read while half asleep.
The point of this is to write down the sentence 'You aren't going to be handed that window of opportunity, so you're going to have to carve it out of your life yourself.' so that I understand it properly.
Jayzus. It'll be to-do lists next.
Illustration of the depths of my thickness no.1: http://www.martin-woodhouse.co.uk/index.html
I felt sure I'd dumped this on LJ at some point so I wouldn't have to spend yet another half hour fiddling about with Gurgle and my clearly broken brain. You may guess exactly what has transpired between the time of posting the original and this update...
I swear.
On the other hand, the Python works, the migraine's gone, pater's new PC works (probably. Modulo an ancient install of Eudora and late-model XP security modes failing to get on entirely. It's remarkable how unconducive to getting things mended someone else's space can be.) and I don't look a complete cock in that tweed jacket.
And. And.
The Supersuckers, as pointed at by one of Richard or Aaron, are playing in Bristol next month. The 14th from (probably bad, given the rest of this post) memory. Might be a laugh, especially if they play the Jackalope thing.
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Saw this, thought of you
Date: 2006-12-04 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-05 11:49 pm (UTC)I get periods of "not being able to think about more than one thing at a time", which may or may not be associated with my (mostly thankfully non-painful but otherwise spectacular) visual migranes. To the point of literally not being able to walk and chew gum at the same time.
My mind just fuzzes over, and to compensate my brain seems to run in some kind of single-process mode. I can concentrate on that one thing quite well; but any distraction whatsoever - someone talking to me, an object not being in the place I expected, switching between segmented lumps of information - means total loss of my train of thought.
My last really stupendous one was coming back from my sister's place in Amsterdam about two years ago, where I announced to my family that I was having an off day, and could they kindly keep watch over me, since I knew I was due to do something annoyingly absent-minded any minute now. Of course, they totally missed the gravity of the situation, and I left a brand new Gameboy in my seat pocket on the plane.
It's like a tunnel vision of the mind. Really pisses me off. To-do lists don't help at all, since anything above or below whichever one I'm currently on gets ignored, and all I do is spend several minutes looping through the list desperately trying to work out which of the several not-done-yet items to do next. For instance, a grocery shopping list will be of no use, since instead of doing the shopping, I will simply stand stuck in the central cross-row aisle in the supermarket trying to work out which unticked item I should head for next. I recall once spending twenty minutes in France trying to decide whether to get still or sparkling flavoured water, as they were on different shelves. Each time I moved between the shelves, I forgot what was on the shelf I'd just visited.
The only workable solution is to simply give up on any plans for the rest of the day, and admit to myself that everything is going to take about ten times longer than it would otherwise do.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 05:54 am (UTC)I dunno ... cheap thrills.