Safety Chicken bangs on about mobile phones yet again.

[hirez]

Just before steaming out of the door to go for a run around work, the mobile goes. It's some oik from Communications Direct, trying to scam me into 'upgrading' to whatever shonky contract they're trying to push. I am somewhat short with the fellow. To the extent that there's a whispered 'bloody hell H-R' from the next cube.

It's always nice to know I can strike fear into people without raising my voice or swearing.

Later, somewhere around mile two, the mobile goes off again. This time it's the people who sold me the thing. Much better. Yes, I would like a free upgrade. No, I'm not planning to change networks. While I had the young woman on the phone, I briefed her about my experiences with CD and pointedly asked who'd released my number. Vodafone or them?

Half a mile later, she's back on the phone. (Maybe there was some residual artillery officer in my tone. I'd like to think that she just wanted to be helpful.) It appears that in the month leading up to the end of your contract, Voda release the number to... I wasn't clear if it was 'selected partners' (in which case they keep rubbish company. On the other hand, at £22bn down, they need all the friends they can bribe.) or 'anybody who'll pay'. Oddly enough, I can't find any details of this filthy behaviour on their website. Mind, it's equally likely that some spotty Herbert in a Top Man suit was making stuff up to keep a colleague happy. Mobile phone shops aren't the bastions of rigorous scientific enquiry one might prefer them to be. In my day, people selling HF wireless kit at least knew which way round the accumulators went.

Perhaps I will change networks after all. O2 are too bloody useless to manage anything that sneaky, and they're far cheaper outside the UK.

Comments

[siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com]

O2, on the other hand, do things like turning off your your gprs when you renew your contract, without telling you, so that when you are in desperate need of google, you have a great swearing fit about why the fuck you carry this great big brick around if they make it fucking useless without telling you.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Or, in my case, they turned on GPRS not two hours after I'd demanded a PAC from them, which they'd singularly failed to manage in the previous two years of asking.

Hopeless moneygrubbing fuckwits or venal moneygrubbing fuckwits? What a choice.

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

02 send you junk texts about rubbish.

They also do the same as vodafone, as when my pay upfront tariff was due for renewal several different providers phoned me up. Although the funniest was 02 themselves offering to save me money. When I pointed out that I paid £120 a year and got 60 minutes free calls a month, they said "oh. Ah. Ok, we can't save you money".

[hirez.livejournal.com]

They do. I'd forgotten that.

Hm.

On the other hand, two weeks of SMSing from France via O2 roaming was much cheaper than three days ditto from Holland via Voda.

I need to dig the bills out and check.

Not tonight, though.

[poggs.livejournal.com]

Similar vein, I had a call to my landline from an Indian company who can save me money on my home phone bill.

GREAT!

So I strung them along, gave them all the fake info-nuggets they needed, like my £150/qtr bill, lots of international calls, no BT offers.

The guy nearly creamed himself, and right at the end when his supervisor was running through the final checks, I dropped in to conversation that this was a BT BusinessHighway ISDN line.

He had to apologise because they can't offer their great deal on ISDN lines ;-)

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

Orange are jolly good.

[quercus.livejournal.com]

Orange once sold me a Motorola, an unforgiveable offence.

T-Mobile are boring, probably crap, and their on-hold music (same as the ads) is so twee it drives you to become a serial killer in less time than the 45 minutes average to answer the fecking call. They also close the call centre (I didn't know call centres _could_ close) at 10pm.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

Dude, you *bought* a Motorola. An unforgivable offence.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

When will they release the Moto SPAZR? That's what I want to know.

[spride.livejournal.com]

No they aren't. France Telecom - nuff said. They won't be here in two years.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

They're competitive in price and have been, for me, the absolute best for customer service, having tried O2 (crap) and Virgin (reasonable) on the way to 'em.

Pissing in the wind as to the affairs of a huge corporation (of which part, orange is profitable and bringing them back into the black), who signs a two year phone contract?

[spride.livejournal.com]

Never underestimate the power of a French company to piss away profits on out of control projects, is all I say. Here the NDA kicks in.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

fair enough, I shall consider myself warned ;)

[inulro.livejournal.com]

I think so, because I rarely to never use my phone, but take advantage of the 2 for 1 cinema offer nearly every week.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

http://www.onecompare.com/mobile-phone-tariffs/?skn=moneysavingexpert

if you're thinking of switching and wanna save a few bob.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Ah. Yes. Dead handy.

Looks like O2 (or Cellnet, for us old people) are the cheapest these days.

[jozafeen.livejournal.com]

I'm terribly un au-fait (if there is such a concept) and love O2 online. Then again that maybe because I only use my phone for calls, texts, e-mail and the rubbish Tinterweb thingy and nothing new and fangly.

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

e-mail and internet thingies on a phone ARE new-fangled to me.

[spride.livejournal.com]

[Were I still in the UK] I couldn't make myself go back to Cellnet. I very much doubt that Orange will be around in a year or two's time - the management are determined to run it aground. T-Mobile (yes, I know, sponsors of the Fat Cheating Twat and all that) have yet to give me any trouble in the US, and I reluctantly decided to stay with Vodkafone in the UK; the problematic handoff from contract to PAYT was only loused up by Carphone Whorehouse, not the Voda side of things. My two cents' worth (brandishes pennies at screen).

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Ha. The other reason for moving to the US was access to 24-hour Phil Liggett, wasn't it?

[spride.livejournal.com]

I just might have acquired a Large (http://flickr.com/photos/simonpride/158925501/) Telly (http://www.dell.com/content/products/features.aspx/3X_lcd32?c=us&cs=19&l=en&s=dhs) and a cable subscription (http://www.cablevision.com/) in readiness for Le Tour, it's true.

[thepaintedone.livejournal.com]

Vodaphone are in the process of losing my compay account at the minute. Our 'account manager' is bloody useless and impossible to get hold of. I've been trying to get our BES upgraded for months now and I'm still waiting. As our spend is in the order of eleven grand a month (over just 100 handsets) I feel I'm somewhat entitled to a bit care and attention.

This is a view that seems to be shared by thier competitors, who are biting my arm off to the exent they are currently nibbling my shoulder. You have to think, if 150k a year contract doesnt get Vodaphones attention, what chance do domestic customers have?

[spride.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I went through this with my last corporate before I managed to offload the whole phones thing onto Office Services. Everyone wants your business and will promise you the earth before you get it, then hand you onto the 'production' people while the ink's still tacky on your signature, who will be just as mediocre, lazy, stupid and workshy as the lot you just fled from. Sunt lacrimae rerum and all that.

[reddragdiva]

"In my day, people selling HF wireless kit at least knew which way round the accumulators went."

Indeed. Hear hear.

What precisely did you say to the oik of the first instance? I'm curious now.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Oh lord, I don't remember. Something along the lines of 'This conversation is tiresome, your repeated calls are tiresome, do not call me again. Good day to you, sir.'

Which doesn't look much in isolation, because it's all in the tone. It's the one used on stroppy Labradors and poorly-trained bank employees, where you tell them what they're going to do with absolute conviction and then walk away (or put the phone down).

[reddragdiva]

Got it. I'm getting quite a few such calls; I shall be using this.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Jolly good. The important thing is not to raise your voice. It's in the compression and channelling of a Guards officer. (Or Royal Horse Artillery)