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hirezA description of apparatus received. Morbius Q. HiRez, chief scientist, reporting.
The device was contained in a semi-sturdy shipping container, roughly a foot in length. Upon removing the transportation tie-downs, we observed the layout of the mechanism and made a few notes on its likely functionality.
{Fig.1} is an annotated photograph of the device as shipped.
A rat-trap mechanism {R} is held in tension by a cord {C1} that is looped around lower part of a birthday candle {B}. A further cord {C} is looped around the upper part of candle {B} and is tensioned by an elastic band {E}. An extension of cord {C} is connected to a non-conductive shim {S} which provides an insulating layer between the blades of the power switch on a printed circuit {Q}. The printed circuit is connected to a piezo sounder {X}.
After donning appropriate safety equipment {Fig.2}, we activated the device and made further observations.
When the candle {B} had burned down to the level of cord {C}, the elastic band {E} functioned as predicted, and the sounder {X} began to emit a medley of tunes of a Christmas nature. {Fig.3}
{Fig.4} shows the state of the device just before the candle {B} had burned to the level of cord {C1}.
{Fig.5} was taken seconds later and shows that the activation of the rat-trap mechanism {R} had caused the destruction of printed circuit {Q}.
It is our professional opinion that packages bearing the sigil of the one calling himself![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jarkman should be approached with due caution and appropriate safety equipment should be worn at all times.
The Research Group welcomes any and all correspondence on this matter.
The device was contained in a semi-sturdy shipping container, roughly a foot in length. Upon removing the transportation tie-downs, we observed the layout of the mechanism and made a few notes on its likely functionality.
{Fig.1} is an annotated photograph of the device as shipped.
A rat-trap mechanism {R} is held in tension by a cord {C1} that is looped around lower part of a birthday candle {B}. A further cord {C} is looped around the upper part of candle {B} and is tensioned by an elastic band {E}. An extension of cord {C} is connected to a non-conductive shim {S} which provides an insulating layer between the blades of the power switch on a printed circuit {Q}. The printed circuit is connected to a piezo sounder {X}.
After donning appropriate safety equipment {Fig.2}, we activated the device and made further observations.
When the candle {B} had burned down to the level of cord {C}, the elastic band {E} functioned as predicted, and the sounder {X} began to emit a medley of tunes of a Christmas nature. {Fig.3}
{Fig.4} shows the state of the device just before the candle {B} had burned to the level of cord {C1}.
{Fig.5} was taken seconds later and shows that the activation of the rat-trap mechanism {R} had caused the destruction of printed circuit {Q}.
It is our professional opinion that packages bearing the sigil of the one calling himself
jarkman should be approached with due caution and appropriate safety equipment should be worn at all times.The Research Group welcomes any and all correspondence on this matter.
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 12:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 12:41 pm (UTC)Could it be hypothesised that subjects observing The Device in the period between between Fig.4 and Fig.5 were in a state of some amusement: 'Giggling like nutters', in the parlance of our times. Or was it just me, at the very thought of it?
Pure genius.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 01:33 pm (UTC)In point of fact, we were in a state of some trepidation. Anything with enough welly to cheerfully snap a rat in half would have been just as likely to leap sideways and spray molten wax and bits of PCB everywhere.
However, I assured everyone that Richard would have tested it before sending it off.
Not long after, he phoned and went "I wasn't sure it would work since I didn't get a chance to run a test..."
Bastard.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 01:36 pm (UTC)The 'Morbius' should have been 'Moebius', mind.
Though it's all a bit 'Rufus T. Firefly'. Probably on purpose.
'Giggling like nutters'
Date: 2003-12-25 02:07 pm (UTC)Bet you didn't stick an endoscope in yours!
no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 04:08 pm (UTC)It just seemed aesthetically correct to assemble it, cock the springs & stretch the rubber bands, and send it off to meet its fate.
Exhaustive product testing is not the Wile E. Coyote way.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 04:48 pm (UTC)We'd been watching old 'Young Ones' episodes a couple of nights preevus, like. Had the device played 'Rock around the clock', one would have been in hysterics on the floor.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 05:15 pm (UTC)I'll be keeping my rats well away!
no subject
Date: 2003-12-25 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-26 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-26 08:02 am (UTC)It's been a very long time since I had to write up a lab report, so it probably wants some tweaking.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-26 08:03 am (UTC)The Birthday Grenade, however, is still going.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-26 12:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-27 06:03 am (UTC)