Reasons I don't get asked to DJ.

Power noise - play loud.

So, not long ago, there was a thread on a section of the usenet not available to the hoi palloi. The inmates (largely sysadmins) were busy posting URLs to pictures of themselves and there was an 'atmosphere of positive regard' (as the trick-cyclists call it) as people said nice things about each other. It stopped horribly when someone posted a URL to be met with the online equivalent of an uncomfortable silence.

I'll let y'all work out who that someone was.

(People? Fuck 'em. Sack of bastards.)